Blog #280
Finding True Happiness in your marriage.
So you made it to the alter, you've said your promises to each other. You've celebrated bringing your lives together. Now What?
How do you keep those vows? How do you live a long, happy life together?
Until death do you part right? For better or worse right? Exactly!
Don't even walk down that aisle if you can't make those promises to each other.
Will there be for better or worse? Of course there will be. But how you go through those hard times or great times together makes all the difference!
Commitment, Communication and Caring are the “three C's” in any successful marriage!
Commitment – Being committed to only one person, and one person only for the rest of your life. If you cannot commit to that relationship – Do not walk down that aisle.
Communication – Too many people take this part for granted. Of course you will communicate to each other when things are great. But will you commit to communicating when things aren't so great? If you cannot commit to communicate in this relationship – Do not walk down that aisle.
Caring – Do you promise to Care for that person as long as you both live? In good health and bad? If you cannot commit to communicate and care for each other in this relationship – Do not walk down that aisle.
OK, if you have agreed to the “three C's” of marriage – Congratulations! So, what now? How do we stay on our happiness path as a couple?
1. By being committed no matter what happens in your lives together. Good times and bad times. Having a family, or deciding not to make a family. Making choices and decisions together as a couple is the first commitment. Being faithful to each other for life. Being each others cheerleader no matter what. Helping each other make the right choices. Making decisions together that benefit both of you, not just one. Making a choice even if it is hard, to be the right choice for both of you.
2. By communicating your feelings, your triumphs, your sorrows, your problems, even your failures to one another. Communicating to each other in time of need. Celebrating the little things you accomplish. Celebrating the big things you accomplish. Knowing that you have each others backs no matter what life throws your way. Always communicating even when you have had a bad day. Never going to bed angry. Knowing when to give space to the other when needed. Knowing how to read each others body language. Always be willing to bring that other person up when they are down. Simply saying “I Love You” every day and meaning it.
3. By showing and expressing how much you care for one another every single day, and making that vow to care for one another in sickness and in health. When you are both healthy it is easy to care for one another. You watch what you eat, you exercise, you maintain commitment and communication. Your physical and mental well-being are well cared for. But what happens when or if one of you gets sick? What happens if one of you develops cancer or another disease? Do you take your vows at the end of the aisle seriously enough, knowing that one day one or both of you may fall ill? Will you knowingly make that commitment for a lifetime of caring for each other no matter what? Caring is sharing the best and worst moments of your lives together.
Marriage isn't always perfect. It never will be, We as humans are not perfect. Perfection only comes in a marriage when you both work together to make it that way. Love is not just saying the words, but it is showing your love for each other with actions. Respecting each other's needs, and honoring the words you have spoken are part of perfecting your marriage.
The three pillars of a successfully happy marriage are: Validation, Acceptance and Respect. All three of these pillars are mutually dependent on one another and provide a solid sounding board from which we can maintain healthy, functional and successful marriage relationships. Without these we are just one person relying on the other to hold these pillars true. It takes two to hold things together as it should.
If you take these tips seriously before you even say I do, you are bound to have the happiest, lifelong, committed marriage you walked down the aisle to take.
Remember these words:
1 Corinthians 13:4–8a(ESV) "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth."
These words are the absolute foundation for keeping true happiness in a marriage.